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No One Taught Me How to Be a Man: What a Trans Man’s Experience Reveals about Masculinity Hardcover – April 15, 2025

 

An exploration of manhood and what it takes to be a good man in a world of toxic masculinity, from trans author Shannon Kearns.

 

No one ever taught Shannon Kearns how to be a man. As a trans man, Shannon was presumed female at birth and constructed his relationship with masculinity after his transition, using bits and pieces he gathered from the world around him: male behavior, pop culture portrayals, and cultural expectations for men that seemed to be in the air he breathed. But rather than separating him from the experiences of cisgender men, Kearns’s self-taught approach to masculinity connected him with other men in surprising ways. As he lived more and more in the world of men, he discovered that cis men’s relationship to masculinity was similar to his. No one taught them how to be a man either. They worried they were doing it wrong. And they were almost universally worried about being “found out,” exposed as not being a “real man.”

 

In No One Taught Me How to Be a Man, Kearns takes masculinity head-on, leading boys are socialized, Kearns uses his unique experience to “see” gender in ways cis men cannot, making masculinity visible. Without arguing that masculinity should be done away with, or that there is no real difference between men and women, he bravely points toward a form of manhood built for the well-being of the world, and for people of all genders.

 

Out Now!

Through scriptural reflection and personal stories about gender identity, an ordained priest moves the conversation beyond transgender inclusion to demonstrate the unique and vital theological insights transgender Christians can provide the church. 

 

 

Father Shannon Kearns is familiar with liminal spaces. He’s lived in them his whole life. And while his experience as a transgender man has often made it difficult for him to fit in—especially in the context of Christianity—it has also shaped his perspective in important ways on complicated, gender-transgressing aspects of theology and Scripture. 

 

 

In the Margins weaves stories from Shannon’s life into reflections on well-known biblical narratives—such as Jacob wrestling with the divine, Rahab and the Israelite spies, Ezekiel and the dry bones, and the transfiguration of Jesus. In each chapter, Shannon shows how stories have helped him make sense of his own identity, and how those same stories can unlock the transformative power of faith for those willing to listen with an open mind and stand alongside him in the in-between.